








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2883 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1918 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1684 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1414 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $575,914 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuba | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | Winnie | 52% | 64 |
| #3 | Lagahan | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | Matt | 51% | 106 |
| #5 | Gonk | 50% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaltyDawg | 21 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Matt | 18 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Johnathan Sins | 13 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Cuba | 10 | 0.0179 |
| #5 | Winnie | 8 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matt | 598 | 0.27 | 16 min |
| #2 | SaltyDawg | 419 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | Winnie | 271 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Johnathan Sins | 252 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Gonk | 168 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuba | +3.16 | 76 | 63 |
| #2 | Gonk | +1.74 | 72 | 71 |
| #3 | Lagahan | +1.68 | 81 | 55 |
| #4 | Amac | +1.45 | 61 | 56 |
| #5 | Matt | +0.55 | 71 | 78 |





