








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 506 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 330 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,980 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6407 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3865 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4473 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3235 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,296,731 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 992 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Amac | 50% | 111 |
| #9 | Matt | 47% | 115 |
| #10 | Beefy | 44% | 34 |
| #11 | Popcorn_ie | 42% | 31 |
| #12 | Flexo | 33% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnathan Sins | 48 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Amac | 38 | 0.0163 |
| #3 | Winnie | 18 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Cuba | 13 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Gonk | 11 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnathan Sins | 705 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | Matt | 617 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #3 | Winnie | 521 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | Gonk | 434 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #5 | Cuba | 414 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuba | +2.97 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | Lagahan | +2.14 | 79 | 53 |
| #3 | Gonk | +1.84 | 79 | 72 |
| #4 | Amac | +1.61 | 62 | 57 |
| #5 | Johnathan Sins | +1.24 | 59 | 64 |





