








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 526 matches | ||
| Premier | 436 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




104 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15555 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5822 | 19% |
| Smokes | 10043 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 7039 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7880 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,776,751 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moooks | 83% | 80 |
| #2 | ステーキ | 78% | 133 |
| #3 | `ReiWhite | 77% | 99 |
| #4 | smxx | 72% | 294 |
| #5 | CEMENT_BAKING | 71% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smxx | 60 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | moooks | 33 | 0.0215 |
| #3 | ステーキ | 27 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | 𐂃 | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | ✞ 𝖏𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖈𝖆 | 7 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𐂃 | 961 | 0.34 | 28 min |
| #2 | ᵈᵉˢᵗⁱⁿʸ | 958 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #3 | Spotify | 941 | 0.25 | 23 min |
| #4 | smxx | 744 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #5 | CEMENT_BAKING | 572 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tohbias | +5.38 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | moooks | +4.37 | 92 | 40 |
| #3 | smxx | +4.18 | 79 | 39 |
| #4 | CEMENT_BAKING | +4.07 | 78 | 73 |
| #5 | Spotify | +3.64 | 70 | 71 |





