








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2603 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2936 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2993 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2622 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $908,343 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | the midmeister | 47% | 38 |
| #9 | SchifferPro | 45% | 22 |
| #10 | black | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | ✪J. | 35% | 26 |
| #12 | Ballz | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | black | 6 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | the midmeister | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | [SFS] iRiSH | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Rooss | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | aubbby | 3 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the midmeister | 136 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | ✪J. | 87 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ballz | 80 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Rooss | 73 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | [SFS] Ole PuT | 54 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the midmeister | +2.09 | 77 | 50 |
| #2 | Zeke | +1.00 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | Rooss | +0.65 | 75 | 56 |
| #4 | [SFS] Ole PuT | +0.44 | 44 | 71 |
| #5 | Gypsy | +0.40 | 76 | 44 |





