








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,629 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2805 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3105 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2256 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2463 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,076,473 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Toxic O'Rakel | 44% | 48 |
| #10 | VildeTilde | 39% | 33 |
| #11 | CpCrasher | 36% | 25 |
| #12 | pis | 35% | 31 |
| #13 | Mayo | 34% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Becca | 14 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Mayo | 10 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | CpCrasher | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | VildeTilde | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | pis | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Becca | 224 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | rejtch | 139 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Razo | 62 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mayo | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Toxic O'Rakel | 42 | 0.04 | 2 min |





