








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 587 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1262 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1448 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1459 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $553,719 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🏎️Pit Stop🏎 | 76% | 29 |
| #2 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | 62% | 37 |
| #3 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | 59% | 92 |
| #4 | Theo5607 | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | ["PANDA"] | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Theo5607 | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | ["PANDA"] | 54% | 13 |
| #6 | natsirT. | 50% | 20 |
| #7 | CocoBinks | 47% | 36 |
| #8 | TuRkoS | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuRkoS | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | natsirT. | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | ["PANDA"] | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | 384 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | 105 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | natsirT. | 79 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Theo5607 | 62 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | TuRkoS | 59 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | natsirT. | +4.17 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | +3.57 | 84 | 58 |
| #3 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | +3.54 | 72 | 86 |
| #4 | 🏎️Pit Stop🏎 | +2.47 | 76 | 52 |
| #5 | CocoBinks | +1.71 | 75 | 43 |





