








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 626 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 408 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4371 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 955 | 7% |
| Smokes | 4286 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3255 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4414 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,089,610 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🏎️Pit Stop🏎 | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | TuRkoS | 59% | 120 |
| #3 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | 59% | 274 |
| #4 | natsirT. | 56% | 121 |
| #5 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | 56% | 384 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | 59% | 274 |
| #4 | natsirT. | 56% | 121 |
| #5 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | 56% | 384 |
| #6 | Theo5607 | 55% | 121 |
| #7 | Yakio | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | natsirT. | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | 2 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | 2 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | 1642 | 0.19 | 57 min |
| #2 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | 631 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #3 | natsirT. | 340 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | Theo5607 | 220 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | TuRkoS | 161 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | +1.88 | 70 | 88 |
| #2 | CocoBinks | +0.62 | 76 | 45 |
| #3 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | +0.35 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | natsirT. | -0.01 | 77 | 65 |
| #5 | TuRkoS | -0.26 | 79 | 59 |





