








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1673 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 539 matches | ||
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11388 | 27% |
| Smokes | 10837 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8950 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 11021 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,894,115 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 347 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yakio | 59% | 92 |
| #2 | TuRkoS | 57% | 181 |
| #3 | CocoBinks | 56% | 384 |
| #4 | Theo5607 | 56% | 142 |
| #5 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | 55% | 341 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Theo5607 | 56% | 142 |
| #5 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | 55% | 341 |
| #6 | natsirT. | 55% | 235 |
| #7 | Cream | 54% | 129 |
| #8 | |☆◾Mako | 53% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | |☆◾Mako | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Yakio | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | natsirT. | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | TuRkoS | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | 2 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | 840 | 0.11 | 24 min |
| #2 | natsirT. | 715 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #3 | Cream | 503 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #4 | |☆◾Mako | 314 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | CocoBinks | 266 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | +2.19 | 70 | 86 |
| #2 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | +0.53 | 71 | 62 |
| #3 | natsirT. | +0.36 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | CocoBinks | +0.20 | 75 | 46 |
| #5 | |☆◾Mako | -0.34 | 83 | 61 |





