








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 594 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 377 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3566 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5684 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3775 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3946 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $977,407 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🏎️Pit Stop🏎 | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | Yakio | 62% | 37 |
| #3 | CocoBinks | 59% | 274 |
| #4 | TuRkoS | 58% | 113 |
| #5 | Theo5607 | 56% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | CocoBinks | 59% | 274 |
| #4 | TuRkoS | 58% | 113 |
| #5 | Theo5607 | 56% | 125 |
| #6 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | 55% | 341 |
| #7 | natsirT. | 53% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | natsirT. | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | 1 | 0.0001 |
| #3 | CocoBinks | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | Yakio | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | 1592 | 0.21 | 54 min |
| #2 | natsirT. | 380 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Theo5607 | 243 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | CocoBinks | 205 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | TuRkoS | 141 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | +1.73 | 69 | 88 |
| #2 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | +0.87 | 73 | 62 |
| #3 | CocoBinks | +0.64 | 74 | 44 |
| #4 | TuRkoS | -0.56 | 80 | 59 |
| #5 | natsirT. | -0.69 | 76 | 64 |





