








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 199 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
2006 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1251 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2514 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1484 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2116 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $801,267 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🏎️Pit Stop🏎 | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | natsirT. | 57% | 49 |
| #3 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | 56% | 125 |
| #4 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | 56% | 142 |
| #5 | CocoBinks | 55% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | 56% | 125 |
| #4 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | 56% | 142 |
| #5 | CocoBinks | 55% | 121 |
| #6 | Yakio | 54% | 50 |
| #7 | TuRkoS | 52% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | TuRkoS | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | natsirT. | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Yakio | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | 679 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #2 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | 276 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | natsirT. | 171 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | TuRkoS | 81 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | 🏎️Pit Stop🏎 | 64 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Croissant Du Baguette [NCB] | +3.01 | 72 | 88 |
| #2 | natsirT. | +1.25 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | CocoBinks | +1.18 | 77 | 43 |
| #4 | ✪AlexFatHEADSHOT | +0.75 | 70 | 66 |
| #5 | TuRkoS | -0.30 | 82 | 48 |





