








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,376 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 785 | 33% |
| Smokes | 624 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 418 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 549 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $339,713 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zekken | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | Clmet1a | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Pleesuls | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Cute catboy | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | crunchy | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zekken | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | ★彡[Luna]彡★ | 3 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | Clmet1a | 2 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | Pleesuls | 2 | 0.0250 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zekken | 78 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | ★彡[Luna]彡★ | 21 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | crunchy | 11 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Cute catboy | 11 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Zekken | 11 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★彡[Luna]彡★ | +2.40 | 73 | 62 |
| #2 | Zekken | +2.30 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | Pleesuls | +2.06 | 42 | 29 |
| #4 | Number 1 Pomu Rainpuff Fan | +1.52 | 52 | 52 |
| #5 | Zekken | +0.52 | 68 | 62 |





