








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3362 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3418 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1916 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3029 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,246,171 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 967 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Assman | 47% | 289 |
| #2 | Clmet1a | 47% | 215 |
| #3 | AncientDrip | 40% | 35 |
| #4 | crunchy | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Assman | 47% | 289 |
| #2 | Clmet1a | 47% | 215 |
| #3 | AncientDrip | 40% | 35 |
| #4 | crunchy | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Assman | 21 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Clmet1a | 21 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | crunchy | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | AncientDrip | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Assman | 991 | 0.16 | 28 min |
| #2 | Clmet1a | 218 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | AncientDrip | 57 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | crunchy | 19 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Assman | +0.81 | 56 | 67 |
| #2 | AncientDrip | +0.72 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | Zekken | +0.41 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | Clmet1a | -0.53 | 55 | 58 |
| #5 | crunchy | -3.16 | 37 | 39 |





