








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1064 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4873 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,782 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7821 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3898 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 6398 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3665 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,177,429 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oakee | 56% | 108 |
| #2 | KAKAKKAKAKKAKAKAKKAKAKKAKAKA | 53% | 139 |
| #3 | LogiC | 53% | 89 |
| #4 | Ronald Reagan | 51% | 151 |
| #5 | Facts | 51% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ronald Reagan | 51% | 151 |
| #5 | Facts | 51% | 85 |
| #6 | Ornn Main | 50% | 239 |
| #7 | Mortuss | 49% | 225 |
| #8 | Beikenost | 46% | 224 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Facts | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Beikenost | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | KAKAKKAKAKKAKAKAKKAKAKKAKAKA | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Mortuss | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | oakee | 5 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oakee | 793 | 0.37 | 29 min |
| #2 | KAKAKKAKAKKAKAKAKKAKAKKAKAKA | 567 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | LogiC | 258 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Beikenost | 242 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | Mortuss | 186 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LogiC | +2.61 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | Ornn Main | +2.57 | 87 | 40 |
| #3 | oakee | +2.51 | 81 | 73 |
| #4 | KAKAKKAKAKKAKAKAKKAKAKKAKAKA | +2.23 | 83 | 58 |
| #5 | Ronald Reagan | +1.72 | 86 | 37 |





