








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1376 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3699 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6965 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4322 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5902 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,492,892 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OAF | Zer0^ | 56% | 194 |
| #2 | anyways | 56% | 59 |
| #3 | eXpLoSiVo | 56% | 90 |
| #4 | MeganMaldy | 55% | 49 |
| #5 | antiprogram | 55% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rain | 35 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Laramie | 14 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | OAF | Zer0^ | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | MashaTriceps | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Caado | 9 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rain | 780 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #2 | Caado | 734 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #3 | Jonboy | 613 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #4 | OAF | Zer0^ | 383 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | MashaTriceps | 381 | 0.12 | 8 min |





