








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 785 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11370 | 36% |
| Smokes | 7600 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5738 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6630 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $873,105 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fricks | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Pancake | 14 | 0.0177 |
| #3 | Merp212 | 11 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | BonBonVal | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Demonara | 8 | 0.0026 |





