








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 593 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 158 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11754 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11250 | 35% |
| Smokes | 7834 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6142 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 7205 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,278,901 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 488 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chrome Bumper | 55% | 62 |
| #2 | KELZ | 51% | 98 |
| #3 | Skell<3 | 48% | 355 |
| #4 | Arm&HammerLiquidLaundryDetergent | 48% | 103 |
| #5 | TheSimeolin | 46% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chrome Bumper | 55% | 62 |
| #2 | KELZ | 51% | 98 |
| #3 | Skell<3 | 48% | 355 |
| #4 | Arm&HammerLiquidLaundryDetergent | 48% | 103 |
| #5 | TheSimeolin | 46% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skell<3 | 24 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Arm&HammerLiquidLaundryDetergent | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | KELZ | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | TheSimeolin | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Chrome Bumper | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arm&HammerLiquidLaundryDetergent | 278 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | KELZ | 231 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Skell<3 | 193 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #4 | Chrome Bumper | 89 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | TheSimeolin | 61 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheSimeolin | +2.69 | 90 | 45 |
| #2 | cluckes | +1.97 | 66 | 56 |
| #3 | Chrome Bumper | +0.73 | 86 | 34 |
| #4 | KELZ | +0.38 | 75 | 43 |
| #5 | Arm&HammerLiquidLaundryDetergent | -0.42 | 47 | 38 |





