








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2009 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,124 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3075 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1640 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 752 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1657 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $448,035 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SparkyB | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | d4n | 68% | 31 |
| #3 | Panda | 65% | 31 |
| #4 | アンディ | 63% | 78 |
| #5 | elmod | 61% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | KT | 55% | 38 |
| #11 | berf | 55% | 29 |
| #12 | #ReTiReD | 52% | 33 |
| #13 | -->Amen!TY<-- | 47% | 17 |
| #14 | MilkyJoe | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jack | 28 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | jmv | 17 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | MurDoC | 16 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | elmod | 11 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | アンディ | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MurDoC | 593 | 0.27 | 17 min |
| #2 | jack | 581 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #3 | jmv | 528 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #4 | Conner ツ | 194 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | -->Amen!TY<-- | 127 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda | +3.03 | 76 | 71 |
| #2 | TommyP123 | +2.81 | 88 | 61 |
| #3 | Conner ツ | +1.35 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | berf | +1.29 | 61 | 68 |
| #5 | jack | +0.25 | 60 | 65 |





