








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3496 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4267 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3716 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2965 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2553 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $868,491 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 327 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d4n | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | TommyP123 | 58% | 103 |
| #3 | jack | 52% | 243 |
| #4 | MilkyJoe | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Conner ツ | 52% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | elmod | 47% | 131 |
| #10 | jmv | 45% | 265 |
| #11 | berf | 43% | 89 |
| #12 | #ReTiReD | 34% | 29 |
| #13 | Panda | 33% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jack | 43 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | jmv | 38 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | elmod | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | TommyP123 | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | アンディ | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jack | 1279 | 0.25 | 36 min |
| #2 | jmv | 1195 | 0.22 | 32 min |
| #3 | TommyP123 | 371 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | elmod | 297 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Conner ツ | 210 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TommyP123 | +3.16 | 88 | 58 |
| #2 | Conner ツ | +2.67 | 86 | 60 |
| #3 | MurDoC | +0.59 | 65 | 61 |
| #4 | Panda | +0.43 | 69 | 72 |
| #5 | #ReTiReD | +0.32 | 78 | 53 |





