








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 766 | 24% |
| Smokes | 776 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 734 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 976 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $436,590 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mOgens | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | BananaMan | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | vypp | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | BirGie T7/11 | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Dansson | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SkrtNeglHann | 178 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Nosakaツ 30hz | 151 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | gugga03 | 134 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | mOgens | 87 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jimmy | 87 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mOgens | +6.34 | 89 | 72 |
| #2 | Jimmy | +3.44 | 83 | 52 |
| #3 | BananaMan | +2.74 | 86 | 63 |
| #4 | HappyFeet | +2.51 | 69 | 65 |
| #5 | vypp | +2.01 | 82 | 60 |





