








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1416 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1151 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1024 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1296 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $319,219 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BirGie T7/11 | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Jimmy | 85% | 13 |
| #3 | BananaMan | 83% | 23 |
| #4 | sankta | 82% | 11 |
| #5 | gugga03 | 75% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | SkrtNeglHann | 57% | 21 |
| #14 | vypp | 52% | 21 |
| #15 | IPawnDeySi | 50% | 10 |
| #16 | Lundin | 50% | 20 |
| #17 | Crowbarboi | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruvaloツ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | mOgens | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | 1 S A K | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | ✪ Leifssson™ | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | BirGie T7/11 | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruvaloツ | 341 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | SkrtNeglHann | 156 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Jimmy | 116 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #4 | mOgens | 108 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | gugga03 | 102 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sankta | +6.89 | 80 | 77 |
| #2 | Jimmy | +3.79 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | IPawnDeySi | +2.80 | 84 | 55 |
| #4 | mOgens | +2.26 | 88 | 60 |
| #5 | T1 | +2.15 | 60 | 49 |





