








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 776 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1211 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 944 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1274 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $799,121 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dansson | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | gugga03 | 68% | 28 |
| #3 | mOgens | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | Jimmy | 67% | 15 |
| #5 | vypp | 62% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SkrtNeglHann | 130 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | BirGie T7/11 | 116 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | gugga03 | 109 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | vypp | 98 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | BananaMan | 83 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mOgens | +6.66 | 86 | 57 |
| #2 | T1 | +3.92 | 70 | 46 |
| #3 | Nosakaツ 30hz | +2.64 | 88 | 69 |
| #4 | gugga03 | +2.01 | 58 | 73 |
| #5 | ✪ Leifssson™ | +1.44 | 74 | 61 |





