








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1435 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1148 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1419 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1444 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 940 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,142 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arma2 | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | Nelle | 89% | 9 |
| #3 | Titan | 80% | 10 |
| #4 | !Doxhana | 78% | 9 |
| #5 | Cyrex ヅ | 77% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IZY | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | MF DOOM | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Kattvesslan | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | BELLA CIAO | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Wesslan | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IZY | 256 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | BELLA CIAO | 100 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | MF DOOM | 91 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | phyx | 69 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Wesslan | 61 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Titan | +8.21 | 90 | 50 |
| #2 | Arma2 | +5.26 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | !Doxhana | +2.34 | 64 | 55 |
| #4 | HaLLbERG^^ | +2.17 | 80 | 56 |
| #5 | Wesslan | +1.89 | 66 | 72 |





