








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1670 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6184 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6903 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5459 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5001 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,345,802 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2404 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | RawDawgr | 49% | 404 |
| #4 | KEEPTHEBAT | 48% | 256 |
| #5 | TheBipolarTrtle | 47% | 234 |
| #6 | Lord Farquaad | 41% | 116 |
| #7 | Rig | 41% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RawDawgr | 44 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Weiser ツ | 24 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | TheBipolarTrtle | 19 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | KEEPTHEBAT | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Rig | 13 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weiser ツ | 684 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #2 | RawDawgr | 511 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #3 | KEEPTHEBAT | 416 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | TheBipolarTrtle | 304 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | Rig | 198 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weiser ツ | +3.15 | 77 | 57 |
| #2 | pop lock & guac it | +2.36 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | Lord Farquaad | +1.62 | 74 | 21 |
| #4 | RawDawgr | +0.34 | 64 | 35 |
| #5 | Rig | -1.14 | 78 | 20 |





