








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 573 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2287 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1861 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1219 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1004 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $674,456 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pop lock & guac it | 52% | 141 |
| #2 | Rig | 47% | 70 |
| #3 | RawDawgr | 46% | 123 |
| #4 | KEEPTHEBAT | 43% | 99 |
| #5 | TheBipolarTrtle | 40% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RawDawgr | 25 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | pop lock & guac it | 21 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | TheBipolarTrtle | 13 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | Rig | 9 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | KEEPTHEBAT | 8 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pop lock & guac it | 446 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | KEEPTHEBAT | 152 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | RawDawgr | 146 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | TheBipolarTrtle | 110 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rig | 109 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weiser ツ | +2.90 | 77 | 59 |
| #2 | pop lock & guac it | +2.21 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | RawDawgr | -0.09 | 67 | 27 |
| #4 | Rig | -0.15 | 84 | 25 |
| #5 | TheBipolarTrtle | -2.26 | 40 | 50 |





