








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 874 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4251 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2396 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2356 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3283 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3742 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,145,103 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 904 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Farquaad | 48% | 220 |
| #2 | Rig | 48% | 94 |
| #3 | pop lock & guac it | 47% | 234 |
| #4 | RawDawgr | 47% | 220 |
| #5 | KEEPTHEBAT | 41% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RawDawgr | 23 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | pop lock & guac it | 16 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Lord Farquaad | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Rig | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Weiser ツ | 6 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pop lock & guac it | 652 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | RawDawgr | 316 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | KEEPTHEBAT | 293 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Weiser ツ | 292 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #5 | Rig | 73 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weiser ツ | +3.39 | 71 | 57 |
| #2 | pop lock & guac it | +2.85 | 64 | 65 |
| #3 | Lord Farquaad | +1.85 | 71 | 19 |
| #4 | RawDawgr | +1.15 | 60 | 39 |
| #5 | TheBipolarTrtle | -1.25 | 46 | 55 |





