










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 966 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2048 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1975 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4684 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 3186 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $673,028 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1812 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pop lock & guac it | 49% | 404 |
| #2 | TheBipolarTrtle | 47% | 220 |
| #3 | Weiser ツ | 46% | 123 |
| #4 | KEEPTHEBAT | 44% | 225 |
| #5 | Lord Farquaad | 43% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pop lock & guac it | 25 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | TheBipolarTrtle | 18 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Weiser ツ | 16 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | KEEPTHEBAT | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Rig | 10 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pop lock & guac it | 1166 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #2 | Weiser ツ | 615 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #3 | KEEPTHEBAT | 357 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | TheBipolarTrtle | 263 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | Rig | 153 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weiser ツ | +2.76 | 78 | 58 |
| #2 | pop lock & guac it | +2.16 | 68 | 66 |
| #3 | Lord Farquaad | +1.50 | 74 | 20 |
| #4 | RawDawgr | +0.59 | 64 | 36 |
| #5 | Rig | -1.62 | 80 | 19 |





