








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,069 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2272 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3107 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2151 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1539 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,986,050 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nippinhard | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | pop lock & guac it | 48% | 256 |
| #3 | Lord Farquaad | 44% | 55 |
| #4 | RawDawgr | 44% | 225 |
| #5 | Weiser ツ | 43% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RawDawgr | 31 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | TheBipolarTrtle | 14 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | pop lock & guac it | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Weiser ツ | 11 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Rig | 8 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pop lock & guac it | 724 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | Weiser ツ | 441 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #3 | RawDawgr | 298 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | TheBipolarTrtle | 250 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | Rig | 125 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weiser ツ | +4.30 | 78 | 59 |
| #2 | pop lock & guac it | +3.30 | 71 | 63 |
| #3 | Lord Farquaad | +2.28 | 66 | 17 |
| #4 | Ders | +2.13 | 68 | 53 |
| #5 | RawDawgr | +1.38 | 64 | 36 |





