








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,942 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 217 | 11% |
| Smokes | 808 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 526 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 391 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $42,704 of utility $16 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $5 footlong | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | stay blackin | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | schizoid | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | 37% | 73 |
| #5 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | schizoid | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | 37% | 73 |
| #5 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | 36% | 25 |
| #6 | Soul | 32% | 31 |
| #7 | papa | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | 30 | 0.0214 |
| #2 | schizoid | 15 | 0.0208 |
| #3 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | 13 | 0.0288 |
| #4 | Soul | 7 | 0.0131 |
| #5 | stay blackin | 5 | 0.0202 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | 153 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | schizoid | 72 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | $5 footlong | 17 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | stay blackin | 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stay blackin | +6.24 | 89 | 45 |
| #2 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | +3.79 | 85 | 34 |
| #3 | schizoid | +3.62 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | +2.73 | 76 | 60 |
| #5 | Soul | +0.70 | 61 | 28 |





