








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 77 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




105 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 724 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2422 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1844 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2137 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $426,081 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schizoid | 51% | 37 |
| #2 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | 51% | 335 |
| #3 | Soul | 46% | 127 |
| #4 | Incendiary | 40% | 60 |
| #5 | moosee | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Soul | 46% | 127 |
| #4 | Incendiary | 40% | 60 |
| #5 | moosee | 39% | 31 |
| #6 | Waffles | 36% | 25 |
| #7 | The Stick | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | 94 | 0.0145 |
| #2 | Soul | 32 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | schizoid | 13 | 0.0180 |
| #4 | Incendiary | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | moosee | 5 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | 935 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | schizoid | 130 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Incendiary | 60 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | moosee | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | The Stick | 40 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | +3.51 | 83 | 36 |
| #2 | schizoid | +2.27 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | +1.03 | 67 | 57 |
| #4 | moosee | +0.12 | 58 | 50 |
| #5 | Soul | -0.17 | 60 | 27 |





