








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,383 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1799 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1382 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1151 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1051 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $210,216 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 398 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stay blackin | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | Waffles | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | Soul | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | Incendiary | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stay blackin | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | Waffles | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | Soul | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | Incendiary | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | 13 | 0.0178 |
| #2 | Waffles | 10 | 0.0139 |
| #3 | Soul | 9 | 0.0258 |
| #4 | Incendiary | 6 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | stay blackin | 6 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Incendiary | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | stay blackin | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | 22 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Waffles | 22 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Soul | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stay blackin | +4.54 | 88 | 38 |
| #2 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | +4.08 | 86 | 41 |
| #3 | schizoid | +1.71 | 67 | 57 |
| #4 | Soul | -0.78 | 57 | 28 |
| #5 | Waffles | -2.22 | 43 | 24 |





