








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 140 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




172 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5848 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4523 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3837 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3746 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,068 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 692 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | 51% | 335 |
| #2 | Soul | 45% | 92 |
| #3 | papa | 44% | 34 |
| #4 | Waffles | 37% | 73 |
| #5 | Incendiary | 34% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Soul | 45% | 92 |
| #3 | papa | 44% | 34 |
| #4 | Waffles | 37% | 73 |
| #5 | Incendiary | 34% | 64 |
| #6 | The Stick | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | 85 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | Soul | 28 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | Waffles | 12 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | Incendiary | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | The Stick | 5 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | 251 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #2 | Incendiary | 53 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | The Stick | 44 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Waffles | 38 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Soul | 29 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | +3.44 | 82 | 37 |
| #2 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | +1.48 | 68 | 58 |
| #3 | Soul | +0.88 | 61 | 27 |
| #4 | papa | -2.03 | 42 | 20 |
| #5 | Incendiary | -3.42 | 21 | 32 |





