








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
340 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 32 | 25% |
| Smokes | 26 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 35 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 33 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $13,204 of utility $16 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stay blackin | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | schizoid | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Soul | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Incendiary | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | 44% | 34 |
| #6 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | 40% | 20 |
| #7 | moosee | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | Waffles | 25% | 12 |
| #9 | The Stick | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | 13 | 0.0198 |
| #2 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | 10 | 0.0273 |
| #3 | Soul | 7 | 0.0181 |
| #4 | Waffles | 4 | 0.0163 |
| #5 | Incendiary | 4 | 0.0188 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | 90 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | stay blackin | 8 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | Waffles | 6 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | moosee | 6 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stay blackin | +9.03 | 92 | 54 |
| #2 | schizoid | +5.52 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | ❤︎ DJ Mystic | +2.67 | 84 | 35 |
| #4 | ASJKHDASIJKDHASWEIKLJURAHAW3EKLR | +2.62 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | Soul | +1.08 | 67 | 28 |





