








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 726 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 810 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7960 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4646 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4812 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4590 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3151 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,906,269 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 663 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake<3 | 71% | 59 |
| #2 | ✪Tyr | 70% | 90 |
| #3 | 2SSB | 63% | 92 |
| #4 | Dextny™ | 59% | 86 |
| #5 | ✪Jean^^ | 56% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | PyroPriest | 51% | 309 |
| #10 | Deity | 51% | 267 |
| #11 | wicKed | 51% | 57 |
| #12 | | ProteinBeast | | 51% | 85 |
| #13 | Abyss | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Jean^^ | 21 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | 2SSB | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | PyroPriest | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Deity | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | ✪Tyr | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PyroPriest | 657 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #2 | 2SSB | 566 | 0.30 | 15 min |
| #3 | ✪Tyr | 485 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #4 | ✪Jean^^ | 409 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | Deity | 388 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Jean^^ | +3.45 | 70 | 58 |
| #2 | Dizzy | +1.93 | 82 | 67 |
| #3 | PyroPriest | +1.66 | 75 | 55 |
| #4 | 2SSB | +0.82 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | Fade | +0.67 | 86 | 53 |





