








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 545 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9731 | 35% |
| Smokes | 7343 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4391 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 6262 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $995,705 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sinhility | 70% | 90 |
| #2 | suicidal potato | 68% | 40 |
| #3 | ℕ𝕚ℙ𝟛𝕩™_TTV | 66% | 53 |
| #4 | Beserker | 66% | 47 |
| #5 | 2SSB | 66% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ✪Jean^^ | 64% | 424 |
| #9 | | ProteinBeast | | 63% | 56 |
| #10 | fubzヅ -iwnl- | 62% | 152 |
| #11 | Jake<3 | 62% | 204 |
| #12 | AbSyN | 58% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Jean^^ | 42 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | fubzヅ -iwnl- | 21 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Jake<3 | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | AbSyN | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Sinhility | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Jean^^ | 925 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #2 | Jake<3 | 714 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #3 | fubzヅ -iwnl- | 620 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #4 | AbSyN | 318 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | 2SSB | 282 | 0.35 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Jean^^ | +3.56 | 64 | 61 |
| #2 | Beserker | +3.12 | 86 | 65 |
| #3 | 2SSB | +2.09 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | fubzヅ -iwnl- | +2.05 | 63 | 66 |
| #5 | PyroPriest | +1.36 | 75 | 60 |





