










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 617 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 497 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9205 | 36% |
| Smokes | 8013 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3915 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4708 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $783,557 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ✪Tyr | 66% | 32 |
| #9 | Sinhility | 63% | 92 |
| #10 | PyroPriest | 62% | 63 |
| #11 | ✪Jean^^ | 61% | 150 |
| #12 | Dextny™ | 56% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Jean^^ | 26 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | | 18 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | bLazE | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Sinhility | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Shneaks | 7 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 1794 | 0.33 | 42 min |
| #2 | bLazE | 609 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | ✪Jean^^ | 316 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Abyss | 306 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Shneaks | 263 | 0.15 | 8 min |





