








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 629 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 156 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,033 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3266 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5266 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5904 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5597 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,412,700 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | ProteinBeast | | 66% | 59 |
| #2 | ✪Tyr | 65% | 110 |
| #3 | suicidal potato | 63% | 63 |
| #4 | Abyss | 63% | 72 |
| #5 | 2SSB | 62% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Jean^^ | 33 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Sinhility | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Dizzy | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | ✪Tyr | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Master Roshi [L2M] | 4 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Jean^^ | 600 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | Sinhility | 518 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | ✪Tyr | 497 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #4 | 2SSB | 375 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #5 | Dizzy | 277 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Jean^^ | +3.51 | 70 | 60 |
| #2 | Dizzy | +1.52 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | PyroPriest | +1.47 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | 2SSB | +1.06 | 80 | 65 |
| #5 | Master Roshi [L2M] | +0.48 | 72 | 68 |





