








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 126 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




126 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,772 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7615 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8150 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 11045 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 11962 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,918,209 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2951 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ℕ𝕚ℙ𝟛𝕩™_TTV | 69% | 75 |
| #2 | Beserker | 69% | 113 |
| #3 | fubzヅ -iwnl- | 67% | 185 |
| #4 | Master Roshi [L2M] | 66% | 116 |
| #5 | ✪Tyr | 64% | 424 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | PyroPriest | 59% | 273 |
| #14 | Jake<3 | 59% | 289 |
| #15 | | ProteinBeast | | 59% | 90 |
| #16 | Fade | 57% | 120 |
| #17 | Sinhility | 56% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fubzヅ -iwnl- | 27 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | ✪Tyr | 20 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Dizzy | 19 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Jake<3 | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | 2SSB | 10 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Tyr | 1806 | 0.20 | 48 min |
| #2 | 2SSB | 1065 | 0.32 | 27 min |
| #3 | Jake<3 | 1030 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #4 | fubzヅ -iwnl- | 797 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #5 | Dizzy | 519 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Jean^^ | +3.59 | 67 | 60 |
| #2 | fubzヅ -iwnl- | +1.62 | 62 | 67 |
| #3 | Beserker | +0.99 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | Dizzy | +0.95 | 72 | 72 |
| #5 | 2SSB | +0.78 | 77 | 68 |





