








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Wingman | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6879 | 38% |
| Smokes | 4339 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1884 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 4945 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,140,523 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 638 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Straight up jorkin it | 72% | 43 |
| #2 | Mythu Lil Monkey | 55% | 56 |
| #3 | Jenky | 55% | 60 |
| #4 | doctorjazz | 55% | 42 |
| #5 | LazerRadical | 55% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Gloomy | 52% | 327 |
| #8 | aeasf | 50% | 111 |
| #9 | FoXTroZT | 49% | 97 |
| #10 | Kittycat456321 | 48% | 243 |
| #11 | werd | 47% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gloomy | 17 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Kittycat456321 | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | aeasf | 12 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | LazerRadical | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | FoXTroZT | 7 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gloomy | 1329 | 0.21 | 41 min |
| #2 | werd | 451 | 0.30 | 11 min |
| #3 | FoXTroZT | 381 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | LazerRadical | 299 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | aeasf | 297 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LazerRadical | +3.36 | 91 | 54 |
| #2 | doctorjazz | +2.19 | 77 | 57 |
| #3 | C̵h̷e̶r̵r̸y̴ ̸B̷o̸i̵ ̵H̶×n̶t̴e̸r | +1.60 | 73 | 54 |
| #4 | Gloomy | +1.52 | 75 | 81 |
| #5 | Jenky | +1.31 | 79 | 58 |





