








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,973 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5671 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5322 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4032 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3948 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,367,623 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baby_J.B | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Nico | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | . | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | ✪$orry✪ | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | F1scher | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | p ☔ | 49% | 63 |
| #8 | F | 49% | 59 |
| #9 | Basti sucht sein Aim | 49% | 321 |
| #10 | airicF | 47% | 168 |
| #11 | Rexlity.- | 40% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basti sucht sein Aim | 37 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | airicF | 33 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 22 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | p ☔ | 20 | 0.0154 |
| #5 | Rexlity.- | 9 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basti sucht sein Aim | 1339 | 0.20 | 30 min |
| #2 | airicF | 1175 | 0.33 | 32 min |
| #3 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 268 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | p ☔ | 234 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | F | 164 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basti sucht sein Aim | +2.09 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | p ☔ | +2.09 | 61 | 60 |
| #3 | Baby_J.B | +1.64 | 68 | 37 |
| #4 | airicF | +1.54 | 67 | 74 |
| #5 | F1scher | +1.11 | 73 | 46 |





