








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6038 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5544 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4240 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4147 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,454,232 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baby_J.B | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Nico | 56% | 50 |
| #3 | ✪$orry✪ | 52% | 54 |
| #4 | F1scher | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | . | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 50% | 109 |
| #8 | p ☔ | 49% | 67 |
| #9 | Basti sucht sein Aim | 49% | 338 |
| #10 | airicF | 48% | 185 |
| #11 | Rexlity.- | 40% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basti sucht sein Aim | 39 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | airicF | 33 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 22 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | p ☔ | 20 | 0.0153 |
| #5 | Rexlity.- | 9 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basti sucht sein Aim | 1405 | 0.20 | 31 min |
| #2 | airicF | 1245 | 0.33 | 33 min |
| #3 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 268 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | p ☔ | 240 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | F | 166 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basti sucht sein Aim | +2.28 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | p ☔ | +1.90 | 60 | 60 |
| #3 | Baby_J.B | +1.48 | 67 | 37 |
| #4 | airicF | +1.25 | 68 | 74 |
| #5 | F1scher | +1.23 | 74 | 47 |





