








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1571 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 503 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 146 matches | ||
| Wingman | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 232 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




98 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 56,487 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16815 | 30% |
| Smokes | 15286 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 13281 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 11105 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,593,620 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1388 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F1scher | 54% | 253 |
| #2 | ✪$orry✪ | 52% | 241 |
| #3 | airicF | 50% | 336 |
| #4 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 49% | 213 |
| #5 | ü 16 guppy | 49% | 338 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ü 16 guppy | 49% | 338 |
| #6 | davmaster2000 | 48% | 127 |
| #7 | Rexlity.- | 48% | 113 |
| #8 | THEMonk | 48% | 109 |
| #9 | Basti | 45% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | airicF | 67 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | ü 16 guppy | 57 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 36 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Rexlity.- | 19 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | ✪$orry✪ | 7 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | airicF | 1987 | 0.30 | 52 min |
| #2 | ü 16 guppy | 1243 | 0.18 | 32 min |
| #3 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 544 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | ✪$orry✪ | 540 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #5 | F1scher | 271 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F1scher | +2.07 | 80 | 46 |
| #2 | Basti sucht sein Aim | +1.62 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | airicF | +1.19 | 69 | 73 |
| #4 | Rexlity.- | +0.67 | 65 | 47 |
| #5 | THEMonk | +0.62 | 59 | 56 |





