








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1094 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 475 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 139 matches | ||
| Wingman | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 207 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




94 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 53,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15965 | 30% |
| Smokes | 14563 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 12616 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 10531 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,458,131 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F1scher | 54% | 248 |
| #2 | ✪$orry✪ | 52% | 230 |
| #3 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 49% | 211 |
| #4 | airicF | 49% | 293 |
| #5 | ü 16 guppy | 49% | 321 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ü 16 guppy | 49% | 321 |
| #6 | davmaster2000 | 48% | 124 |
| #7 | Rexlity.- | 48% | 112 |
| #8 | THEMonk | 48% | 106 |
| #9 | Basti | 45% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | airicF | 62 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | ü 16 guppy | 55 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 35 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Rexlity.- | 19 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | ✪$orry✪ | 7 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | airicF | 1798 | 0.30 | 48 min |
| #2 | ü 16 guppy | 1159 | 0.17 | 31 min |
| #3 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 542 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | ✪$orry✪ | 513 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #5 | F1scher | 265 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F1scher | +2.00 | 80 | 45 |
| #2 | Basti sucht sein Aim | +1.52 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | airicF | +1.24 | 67 | 73 |
| #4 | Rexlity.- | +0.66 | 65 | 47 |
| #5 | THEMonk | +0.65 | 59 | 55 |





