








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1058 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,812 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9978 | 46% |
| Smokes | 1692 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 5132 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5010 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $629,638 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪$orry✪ | 56% | 93 |
| #2 | Basti sucht sein Aim | 50% | 336 |
| #3 | ü 16 guppy | 48% | 185 |
| #4 | p ☔ | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | Rexlity.- | 45% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Rexlity.- | 45% | 69 |
| #6 | . | 45% | 58 |
| #7 | F1scher | 43% | 44 |
| #8 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 42% | 93 |
| #9 | Lonely_Gooner;) | 35% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basti sucht sein Aim | 40 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | ü 16 guppy | 38 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 21 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | Rexlity.- | 12 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | p ☔ | 9 | 0.0155 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basti sucht sein Aim | 1290 | 0.20 | 27 min |
| #2 | ü 16 guppy | 696 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 247 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | ✪$orry✪ | 221 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | . | 139 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | airicF | +1.70 | 68 | 73 |
| #2 | Basti sucht sein Aim | +1.27 | 76 | 67 |
| #3 | F1scher | +0.96 | 76 | 47 |
| #4 | p ☔ | +0.25 | 63 | 59 |
| #5 | ✪$orry✪ | -0.20 | 77 | 61 |





