








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,007 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1741 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1811 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1321 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1134 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $501,031 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ü 16 guppy | 49% | 59 |
| #2 | DaNeussner | 48% | 42 |
| #3 | Baby_J.B | 45% | 53 |
| #4 | Basti sucht sein Aim | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | airicF | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ü 16 guppy | 10 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | p ☔ | 8 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | Baby_J.B | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | airicF | 6 | 0.0205 |
| #5 | DaNeussner | 5 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ü 16 guppy | 252 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | p ☔ | 134 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | Basti sucht sein Aim | 129 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | airicF | 116 | 0.40 | 3 min |
| #5 | DaNeussner | 90 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basti sucht sein Aim | +2.11 | 69 | 63 |
| #2 | Baby_J.B | +1.76 | 78 | 31 |
| #3 | p ☔ | +1.47 | 58 | 52 |
| #4 | ü 16 guppy | +1.06 | 61 | 64 |
| #5 | airicF | +0.43 | 67 | 76 |





