








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1269 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2918 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 1554 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1430 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $829,196 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Ikari | 49% | 35 |
| #10 | Thorgrimm(GER) | 48% | 44 |
| #11 | Hiis0ka | 48% | 21 |
| #12 | anders[GER]csgocases_com | 43% | 127 |
| #13 | Dreitoasty | 37% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fischgrätenjoghurt | 11 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Avelina | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Bio_Wasser99 | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | anders[GER]csgocases_com | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | VOODOO | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avelina | 548 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #2 | Bio_Wasser99 | 426 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | Fischgrätenjoghurt | 331 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | VOODOO | 105 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | FUXONE | 62 | 0.11 | 2 min |





