








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 686 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2034 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 759 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1840 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $257,523 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bio_Wasser99 | 145 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Avelina | 118 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Fischgrätenjoghurt | 90 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Putz hier nur | 51 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | VOODOO | 26 | 0.07 | 1 min |





