








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 726 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 478 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,493 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5928 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5751 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3652 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4162 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,202,097 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 498 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | スブラ | 67% | 48 |
| #2 | MOGE | 65% | 165 |
| #3 | aatu | 62% | 292 |
| #4 | abe5u^ | 58% | 502 |
| #5 | uGGo.. | 58% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | abe5u^ | 58% | 502 |
| #5 | uGGo.. | 58% | 105 |
| #6 | huoleton koiramummi | 58% | 417 |
| #7 | Smokey | 57% | 219 |
| #8 | KarK | 55% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abe5u^ | 35 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | huoleton koiramummi | 5 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | MOGE | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Smokey | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | uGGo.. | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abe5u^ | 2673 | 0.23 | 81 min |
| #2 | aatu | 1636 | 0.24 | 40 min |
| #3 | huoleton koiramummi | 1152 | 0.12 | 30 min |
| #4 | Smokey | 668 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #5 | KarK | 262 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | スブラ | +1.89 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | abe5u^ | +1.46 | 70 | 74 |
| #3 | aimlock pablo | +1.41 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | Smokey | +1.02 | 87 | 70 |
| #5 | huoleton koiramummi | +0.16 | 72 | 58 |





