








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 872 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 472 matches | ||
| Wingman | 133 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6111 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6583 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6145 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5637 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4869 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,918,469 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ishtar | 82% | 76 |
| #2 | Knocks | 79% | 214 |
| #3 | Ajoyfulpig | 77% | 84 |
| #4 | M1KA | 76% | 197 |
| #5 | Jedi Ken | 75% | 268 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Skrout | 69% | 35 |
| #14 | heck | 67% | 46 |
| #15 | Tyson | 67% | 214 |
| #16 | b0ba | 66% | 64 |
| #17 | Ugosplodes | 56% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyson | 22 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Knocks | 20 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | M1KA | 19 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | ROb | 19 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Ochsner | 17 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1KA | 752 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | Ochsner | 664 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #3 | Knocks | 648 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #4 | Jedi Ken | 454 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #5 | Ajoyfulpig | 356 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donnie (The Problem) | +3.60 | 78 | 74 |
| #2 | Knocks | +3.51 | 66 | 85 |
| #3 | Ishtar | +2.87 | 98 | 47 |
| #4 | Ajoyfulpig | +2.65 | 76 | 59 |
| #5 | Mazy | +1.19 | 71 | 56 |





