








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1089 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 602 matches | ||
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Wingman | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




131 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9052 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5343 | 22% |
| Smokes | 8031 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 6409 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4830 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,461,325 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mazy | 76% | 133 |
| #2 | heck | 75% | 55 |
| #3 | Knocks | 74% | 307 |
| #4 | Ishtar | 74% | 104 |
| #5 | Ochsner | 73% | 252 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | JacobT_ | 69% | 77 |
| #11 | Donnie (The Problem) | 67% | 214 |
| #12 | Mainmast | 66% | 53 |
| #13 | Ugosplodes | 65% | 78 |
| #14 | Firefoxjen | 64% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1KA | 45 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Mazy | 24 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Knocks | 22 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Jedi Ken | 21 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Ochsner | 20 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1KA | 1053 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #2 | Knocks | 975 | 0.17 | 30 min |
| #3 | Ochsner | 870 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #4 | Donnie (The Problem) | 680 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #5 | Jedi Ken | 532 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ishtar | +4.66 | 98 | 46 |
| #2 | Knocks | +2.97 | 62 | 84 |
| #3 | Ajoyfulpig | +2.71 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | Donnie (The Problem) | +2.70 | 77 | 72 |
| #5 | Mazy | +2.05 | 67 | 59 |





