








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1446 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 1196 matches | ||
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8822 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6764 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 11510 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 9314 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,997,358 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2062 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ishtar | 78% | 209 |
| #2 | Knocks | 78% | 777 |
| #3 | Mainmast | 76% | 144 |
| #4 | chowder | 76% | 88 |
| #5 | ROb | 75% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | M1KA | 74% | 863 |
| #11 | Ajoyfulpig | 73% | 89 |
| #12 | Firefoxjen | 71% | 654 |
| #13 | Tyson | 69% | 339 |
| #14 | Ugosplodes | 64% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1KA | 107 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Mazy | 57 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | Ochsner | 55 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Tyson | 46 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Knocks | 40 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1KA | 3146 | 0.19 | 85 min |
| #2 | Knocks | 2435 | 0.16 | 76 min |
| #3 | Ochsner | 2386 | 0.19 | 62 min |
| #4 | Firefoxjen | 1274 | 0.10 | 36 min |
| #5 | Donnie (The Problem) | 930 | 0.18 | 28 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ishtar | +3.86 | 98 | 48 |
| #2 | Donnie (The Problem) | +3.58 | 78 | 77 |
| #3 | Knocks | +3.48 | 63 | 85 |
| #4 | Mazy | +3.38 | 68 | 60 |
| #5 | Ajoyfulpig | +2.39 | 73 | 59 |





