








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1089 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 123 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7317 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5549 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5081 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5587 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $781,429 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 753 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miguelito | 62% | 145 |
| #2 | Jojj | 59% | 235 |
| #3 | Doss | 58% | 239 |
| #4 | lil kev | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | TEST | 52% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | lil kev | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | TEST | 52% | 100 |
| #6 | Nathan ✿ | 51% | 197 |
| #7 | uiia | 51% | 81 |
| #8 | GetMcFucked | 46% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miguelito | 23 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | GetMcFucked | 22 | 0.0148 |
| #3 | uiia | 15 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | Doss | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Nathan ✿ | 10 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jojj | 808 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | Nathan ✿ | 569 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | Doss | 484 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | TEST | 473 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #5 | GetMcFucked | 426 | 0.29 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEST | +2.26 | 67 | 75 |
| #2 | fraudy | +1.55 | 67 | 78 |
| #3 | Jojj | +1.36 | 64 | 64 |
| #4 | Doss | +0.36 | 72 | 49 |
| #5 | Nathan ✿ | -0.07 | 75 | 60 |





