








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 403 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3782 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1943 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1436 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2836 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 760 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $739,810 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 470 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Diablond_ | 44% | 188 |
| #5 | Thanators | 44% | 220 |
| #6 | Silaise | 44% | 224 |
| #7 | KryTiZz | 35% | 132 |
| #8 | LLOscar | 30% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thanators | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Diablond_ | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Silaise | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | KryTiZz | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ForeverStun | 7 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ForeverStun | 472 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | Diablond_ | 433 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | KryTiZz | 328 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Silaise | 202 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Thanators | 168 | 0.04 | 3 min |





